Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Stay-at-home-mom.

Since when did being a stay-at-home-mom become the be all, end all?
Even before I had E I felt pressure to quit my job and stay at home. And, when I realized that daycare would cost over half my salary, and since I really disliked my job anyway, I quit it with the goal of staying at home with E and also watching 1 or 2 other kids to supplement our income . . . .
But let me backtrack here, after I had E I took 7 weeks maternity leave and then I went back to work for 3 weeks and my sister watched E since she was between jobs at the time. And you know, I didn't feel guilty or like a bad mother, sure I missed him and it made me want to spend more time with him when I was home. But I liked going to work every day, I liked having a "break", I liked being able to contribute financially. But I stuck with the plan and quit after those 3 weeks were up . . . . and I miss working, I still haven't started watching kids - still waiting for my temporary home daycare certificate to come in the mail - and a part of me doesn't want it to come. I get so tired and frustrated and burned out being at home almost all day every day, doing the same thing, cleaning off the kitchen counter for the umteenth time, changing diapers, making bottles, don't get me wrong - I seriously love my son to do death, E is amazing and I wouldn't trade him for anything . . .I guess there's just more of an adjustment period than I thought there would be.

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