Thursday, June 11, 2015

What happened to the world changer?

I grew up in a generation of world changers. We were driven, empowered, and passionate for God. We were "on fire".

Church camps, youth conferences, mission trips, and youth group was what my life revolved around. It was amazing. I have wonderful memories and great Facebook friends from those times but the accomplishments and moments are all in the past.

I grew up believing I could do anything I set my mind to, the world was my oyster and I only had to choose what I wanted and go for it.
And that, dear friends, is where I stalled out. Decision making is not my forte and after 4 years of college and 1 internship I was no closer to knowing what I wanted to do with my life then when I started.

I am now a married, stay-at-home, mom of two, with no college degree and not a clue who I am.

I wish I could say I did change the world, that history will be written with me in it, that my name will be known, that I have made a tangible impact in the lives of others. But the truth is that most days it's all I can do to get dressed, feed the kids, run errands, feed them again, pick up the house, do laundry, put it away, feed the kids...again, and get them into bed.

It is so hard to find meaning in what I do. There is no acknowledgement, no history being made, and most days it feels like nobody knows my name.

This is not a motivational, "you matter, get out there and be a fabulous you!" post. No, this is my honest, real life. Because real life is hard.

But I press on, I roast cauliflower, trip over toys, pick up toys, and wash the thousandth load of laundry because while today doesn't feel significant I have faith that soon one day will and I cannot wait for that day.

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